In Between Facebook Posts

Someone said it again,

"Your kids make me want to have kids of my own."

Aw, how sweet. Thank you! I'm glad they have restored your faith in the idea of raising a family. Honestly, its a compliment and I appreciate it. Its a lot of work to have kids and I always feel a bit relieved when someone tells me they enjoy my boys. It feels better than if someone were to say they didn't like my boys.. right? duh. BUT. behind the appreciation of that compliment, I always wonder in the back of my mind if my boys make people want to have kids because they really think the idea of parenting is amazing? Or if its because they want a small human that speaks like Yoda, who is anti gluten, in love with the Foo Fighters, or roars and growls at you instead of simply answering with a "no." Most people know my children best through my Facebook account since I'm on there daily. Its almost completely become nothing more than quotes by and pictures of my cute boys. But that is where my concern comes from... or conviction I guess.

Watch out, things are about to get real up in hea!

Ok so facebook. Take it or leave it, everyone has opinions on it. I've chosen to keep it. I like being able to stay updated on my friends and family's lives. I have also been told by a number of people, including a dear friend who had passed away just days after telling me, "please keep posting the funny things Joey says. He just makes my day." No pressure or anything. I start to stress when he hasn't said a single funny thing in days. ha. But really, they light up my world and I can't help but share it with people. You know like the scene in Elf when Buddy runs into his dads office after an amazing first date shouting, "I'm in love, I'M IN LOVE and I DON'T care who knows it!!" Exactly, Buddy. I feel you on that one. Hence the endless amount of pictures of the same two kids. Over. and over.  The unfortunate part about facebook however, is that you have the ability to put whatever you'd like on it. You pick the picture of yourself that everyone sees, and you choose what to say in your status. What I mean is, its easy to not be 100% honest. So is that why people love my kids so much? Cause I'm hearing how great they are but I'm feeling desperate for a quiet day with out one single fit, tantrum or wasted half of sandwich. We are becoming a world where you know people best by what you see on their facebook page or instagram. We are becoming less social because of social media. Why get together over coffee to catch up when you can snoop through status comments, and tagged photos. Besides, whats to catch up on? I already know that you had mexican for dinner friday, went to the DMV Tuesday and are hating the weather. The same applies to MY facebook and my boys. I'm afraid of slipping into that world of facebook users that appear peachy and pleasant when in reality, their life is crashing around them.

Now don't get me wrong. I could see how this looks like I can't stand my kids. Or I can't stand my life. WRONG. That's not it whatsoever. My boys are MY LIFE. They are proof that God exists, that love is real, that you can be blessed when you least deserve it. There is a reason that my every facebook update, instagram picture and conversation outside of my phone apps revolve around my boys. I'm obsessed with them and couldn't be happier as their mamma. But I want to make sure I'm TRANSPARENT in how I live my life. No secrets, no fake anything. I do believe I have THE most amazing kids in the world, duh! but in between the hilarious things Joey says or adorable way Owen eats are the craziest fits in the world. Ok maybe not the world but by 7pm it feels that way. I sometimes dread telling Joey that its nap time because I don't want to hear the whining that immediately is forced when he hears the "na" in nap. Just the other day I was in tears bathing the boys. Sitting in a puddle that they had happily splashed onto the floor after I had just cleaned the bathroom. When Kyle asked why I was crying, I admitted that I wasn't sure if I was crying because they are growing up and I won't have another baby ever again, or if its because the two babies I already had were making me lose my mind. That is a real tension, just ask the closest mom to you. Now, after all that you might see a cute butt picture on Facebook of Owen toddling around post bath and tears. How cute and bubbly without the extra update on the previous 15 minutes. Or our adorable camping adventure in the backyard this last week. HELLO I seriously LOVED it! I'm still giddy over it and how cute and fun it was with our boys. But I never mentioned the fact that at 11:15pm, 4 hours and 15 minutes past their bedtime, I was unfolding and setting up a portable crib in a tiny tent in the dark trying to get Owen to stop climbing on Joey so they'd go to sleep. If I post a cute picture of me and Kyle together, chances are we didn't get into an argument that day. If I didn't post one, chances are we didn't get into an argument that day either, but how would you know? (marriage isn't easy? what?) The point is, there is A LOT of life being lived in between social media updates and I do NOT want to make anyone think our life is anything other than what it is: normal, crazy, awesome, hectic, hard, scary, frustrating, amazing, funny etc. I like to keep things real. My mother cringes at my honesty from time to time, and I am trying to learn how to be honest with grace but it doesn't come naturally to me. All the more reason why I want to be more careful with my online posts and apologize if I've ever made someone feel like I wasn't being honest especially if it comes down to a decision like having kids.
"but Kelly Wieder's kids just pose and smile in pictures and they do cute stuff like sleep with their thumb in their mouth.. why isn't my baby sleeping so well?" Uh, because ITS A HUMAN CHILD and THEY DON'T SLEEP WELL. Right? I hope this is making sense. Like I said earlier, my kids are THE coolest kids IN. THE. WORLD. (all my facebook friends know it. ha ha) and they make me happier than anything else.. but they are still very real, normal kids who poop and not always in a diaper or toilet. They puke on you, they scream and cry, they throw stuff and not just fits. They are the biggest challenge I've ever faced but they are the greatest joy I could ever imagine. I will do my best to make sure I'm working toward being transparent. I want to make sure people know that although the things Joey says, or the outrageously cute picture of Owen ALWAYS melts my heart, the before and after isn't always picture worthy.

If you're still thinking, "having kids would be off the hook" just know that you're right, it is. But you will find yourself eating apple sauce and fishy crackers for lunch one day while your son is screaming and crying because his older brother threw his toy out of frustration from not being able to unbutton his pants to pee.

Ciao!